


Caught in the Wrong Swamp

by Klanceisunoriginal



Category: Shrek (Movies), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cuban Lance (Voltron), Dimension Travel, First Meetings, Gen, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Shrek References, fanboy Lance, he's excited, lance meets shrek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 21:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16731162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Klanceisunoriginal/pseuds/Klanceisunoriginal
Summary: When Pidge's experiment goes wrong, Lance ends up somewhere he's only dreamt of...





	Caught in the Wrong Swamp

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday Kaye! This is for you, bitch. <3
> 
> This is really short 'cause I'm focusing on NaNo but uhhhh take it and run pls.

Lance woke up this morning thinking that it was going to be a normal day. How wrong could he be? Why can't he have a normal day in his giant robotic house cat in space with the princess and the purple aliens? Of course, no, because life is unfair. 

Pidge bursts into his room at the crack of dawn, eyes wide and bloodshot. She looks like she hasn't slept in a week or two. "Lance!" She shouts, pulling the blankets off of the sleeping boy's body and tugging him out of his bed. "What the fuck, Pidge?" he groans, forcing his eyes to open. "I need you to be my test subject," she says, pushing him up and out of the door. "Why can't literally anyone else do that? I need my sleep," Lance says attempting to release himself from the tiny gremlin forcing him towards the green lion's hangar. "Because I've already bugged everyone else," she admits. "Fine. Make it quick," he says, allowing himself to be pushed the rest of the way.

When they arrive at the hangar, Lance is shoved into an eight-foot tall machine without any explanation. "What is this?" he asks, watching Pidge bounce around from her desk to the machine, imputing perameters. "A teleportation machine," she says, hand on a lever. "Wait, WHAT?!" he shouts, doing his best to get out of the machine. "Why are you using me?! Test it on food goo or something! You need me to form Voltron and stuff!" 

Pidge shakes her head, grinning mischievously. "I've already tested it with food goo. It's time for some proper human testing," she says, "Now, be careful. I have it set to teleport you across the room, so you won't be going too far. Just... take a deep breath, here we go." She flips the switch.

Instantly, Lance feels like he might throw up. His body feels like it's twisting and turning, ripping apart and coming back together. The feeling stops just as suddenly as it starts. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to keep whatever is in his stomach inside of him. Bile fills the back of his throat, burning. He opens his eyes to find himself in a forest.  _This is not where Pidge said she'd send me,_ Lance thinks, swallowing the vomit that had filled his mouth. The queasiness goes away eventually, leaving him confused, standing in a forest of an unknown planet. "Hello?" he calls out, looking around for some landmark.

There's a dim light in the distance, like a fire. As Lance nears the light, he hears shouting. The fire turns out to be torches, and the yelling coming from angry men, though he's not sure what they're angry about. "Excuse me," he says to the nearest person, "what are we yelling at?" The person looks at him in disbelief, handing him a pitchfork. "It's that damned ogre again. They say he stole the Bermeua's kid last week."

Ogre? What is this person talking about? What planet are they on? What the fuck is going on? Then, a voice Lance thought he'd never actually hear cuts through the shouting. "Haven't I told ya to get out o ma swamp?!" 

What the fuck? Is that... Shrek? Sure enough, the tall, green ogre comes through the clearing, hands on his hips. "SHREK?!" Lance shouts, dropping the pitchfork. "Who the fuck are you?" Shrek asks as Lance pushes his way to the front of the crowd. "Oh my god-" Lance says, eyes widening in admiration, "-you're Shrek. Oh god." Shrek looks him up and down, taking note of his lanky frame. "I'm Lance, I... uh... I'm a fan," Lance says, stuttering. "A fan of what?" Shrek asks, ignoring the angry mob shouting curses at him. "Of you! I think? Ironically... probably," Lance says, rambling. "So you're not here to try to kill me?" Shrek asks, gesturing at the mob in front of them. Lance shakes his head no. "Well then get your arse in here," he says, shoving Lance past his gate.

"Why did you let me in?" Lance asks, turning to stare at the ogre. "Well if they figure out you're with me, they'd try to kill you," Shrek claims, thrusting his guest through the door. "Shrek, who is that?" Fiona pops her head around the corner, taking in the sight of the newcomer. "I'm Lance. You don't know me, but your love story is very popular in my culture," Lance says, bowing before the princess. "Well, Lance. It's wonderful to meet you, I'm Fiona."

Lance stays for dinner, though he doesn't eat. Eyeballs and whatever slop it is that they eat remind him too much of the Garrison's cafeteria food. Suddenly, there's a pounding on the door. "Lance?" a familiar voice calls out. "Who is it?" Fiona shouts back, excusing herself to open the door. Standing on the other side is none other than the yellow paladin, Hunk. Behind him is Keith and Shiro. "What the hell are you guys doing here?" Lance asks, standing in front of his friends. "Is that...?" Hunk asks, trying not to stare at the ogress at the door. "It is. Now, what the hell are you doing? Has Pidge fixed the machine?" he asks with urgency. Shiro nods, pushing to the front, "She sincerely apologizes and says that you have to go stand at the place that you were teleported in. We have to be fast, the portal will be opening in two minutes."

Fiona looks extremely confused, and Shrek joins his wife and guest at the door to see who the guests are. "I take it you know these people?" Shrek asks, looking the other three paladins up and down. "Yes, these are my friends. We come from another dimension, I guess. They're here to take me back," Lance says sadly. Though he knows this world is not for him, he wishes that he could stay a little longer. "Well, however short lived it may have been, your visit was wonderful for us. Thank you for coming, Lance. I hope you get home safely," Fiona says, putting a caring arm on his shoulder.

He says his goodbyes and follows his friends to the spot in which he arrived here. "Well, shall we go?" Keith asks rhetorically. "I guess so," Lance answers. "Pidge, we're set to go," Hunk says into his communicator. "Roger that," a voice on the other side says. Only a few moments later, the paladins are encased in a blinding light.

The feeling of being stretched comes back, and Lance's feeling of nausea increases tenfold. When he comes to his senses in the Castle of Lions, he staggers around oh so gracefully and empties his stomach on the floor. "Lance! Are you okay? Where were you?" Pidge asks, running over to his side. "This is the best fucking day of my life, Pidge," he says, wiping the vomit off his chin. "Wait... what?" Pidge asks, concern morphing into curiosity. "I fucking met Shrek, Pidge. Holy shit. I met Shrek."

**Author's Note:**

> Father forgive me, for I have sinned.


End file.
